ABOUT
Meet Kayden
People often ask me, “How did you become a psychotherapist?” Truth is, it was entirely unexpected.
I was born to a Chinese mother and a Portuguese, Dutch and Indian father. Growing up with two vastly different sets of culture created both confusion—and adventure. My father was a mere teenager when he suffered through one of the darkest periods in Singaporean history: the Japanese invasion. My mother stood up against societal stigma and familial pressure to marry a man who was 22 years her elder, and of a different race and religion. My parents, Lionel and Janet embrace and celebrate their differences as much as they do as their similarities. I owe them much of my perspective on life and the search for purpose and meaning beyond myself.
As a child, whenever I was in my father’s arms, I would look for his pen in his shirt pocket. He thought I would be a journalist or a writer, expressing my views on things to others. Well, in retrospect, he wasn’t entirely wrong. In my adulthood, an opportunity came for me to write a book. I took up the challenge without any certainty that I could deliver and I published ‘Breaking Out of Yourself’. I poured my heart and soul into it, bearing it whole for the world to see in the process. I shared tales of my personal growth and tragedies, and the ups and downs of my life. I wanted my readers to speak the unspoken—to question themselves on a deeper level.
As a teenager, I was interested in psychology and often combed through bookstores and libraries for self-help books, having read many works from Jung and Freud. I was interested in understanding myself and those around me better. I was a good listener and companion to my friends. I was immensely quirky and curious—I still am.
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I’m unsure sure what prompted me to take the enormous leap of faith into the unknown that was psychotherapy work, other than a realisation that, in the midst of a vapid corporate career, meaning and purpose was missing in my life. But I did know one thing.
Never has there been such a time of isolation and suffering in the world of such immense magnitude, where so many do not know where to turn for connection and comfort. In my line of work as a therapist, I see loneliness, despair, and a lack of connection. Many individuals and couples come to me stuck, lost and in pain.
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I have been a young and older student. I have been in the corporate world but also the spiritual world.
I have been my own laboratory of personal change and transformation. I have suffered deeply and I have inflicted suffering.
I have been a controller and I have also submitted. I have rediscovered and changed my values in life. I have forgiven and been forgiven. I have been a survivor and have learned how to live. I have been a victim and become free… so I actually understand through personal experience most issues people come to me with.
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I enjoy learning about human dynamics and explaining the mysteries of human behaviour in simple words. I like to help people feel understood and safe enough to get up and try again. To confront their joys and pains, and be motivated to change their narratives and perspectives. All this gives me energy and vitality when I start my day.
Perhaps that’s why I chose to become a psychotherapist, to seek meaning and purpose in the betterment of others.